I GIVE THIS

I woke up today after a night of unrest. My current working situation has forcibly made me take pause, take a step back. The intense cleaning I'm doing in an attempt to reach Zen is affecting a nerve somehow connecting my neck to my very fingertip my right side. When I'm sleeping it goes numb. Not that simple type of numb, the kind of numb that sneaks up on you while you're sleeping and jolts you awake into extreme pain and you try to adjust your arm or your hand or your body so that maybe some of the pain goes away, but it doesn't. Sticks around for hours. It takes a bath with you. And it's getting worse every night you sleep brought on by every day's work in this particular industry doing this particular job that you thought was so perfect.


It's the kind of pain that wakes something up and you inside. It's the kind of pain that you have to listen to. It's the kind of pain that if I keep injuring, I will not be able to paint. It's in perfect I haven't been able to paint all day. And it's my day off. I've cried three times today and two of which were spent trying not to cry. And if you know me, you know I never cry.


I know I haven't written anything in three days... I know no one out there knows that I haven't written anything in three days. I know I haven't stayed true to my year goal of posting something every day in an effort to be creative.


I hope this invisible readership will forgive me.


I give this. This picture of my blank desk, unkept, wild, and blank where it counts.


​
And I give this:


🖕


Because, dammit, I'm going to paint.

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Today's #365CC