So... some of you might know that I dabble with the musics.
I pick up a guitar when I'm trying to distract myself from painting, while paint is drying, and when I'm alone. I write little songs I call ''poem tunes'' cuz sometimes there's just a few lines of rhyme and sentiment and then we move on.
So... some of you might know that I have incredible stage fright/performance anxiety.
I have played a handful of times in public in the last few years and I attribute most of my anxiety to forcing myself to play in public when I was first starting out... in the wrong clubs... to the wrong people... at the wrong time. Now I break out in hives, I start sweating, I lost my hand strength, and sometimes I can't breathe.
So... some of you might know that I have secret soundcloud accounts where I store my poem tunes for posterity.
I don't want to forget my words or forget the moments of those words so I record them on my shitty little smartphones and store them in the sound cloud. I've gotten a little more gadgety over time... as in, I now have an iPhone and iPad with garage band. I don't own a microphone... and my 'Tar isn't a plug-in... and I just make do.
So... some of you might know that I did a NPR thing recently.
I don't know if other band folk are half as shocked at his or her or their participation in this as I am, but I AM. Not only did I play my guitar and sing in my tiny basement apartment in the middle of the day where people can hear me, I learned how to overlay the audio and edit video and make an intro and etc etc etc (insert Yul Brynner's King of Siam voice here).
Not only did I make a video... I actually followed through... and sent the shit in. I mean, I posted it on youtube for the world to see... and sent the link! I even recorded a second video and found myself torn between the two!!!
What the heck-o-la, Mallory Kate???
Who is this new easy, breezy, beautiful, clothed camera girl???
So that's where my heart has been the last week. Wrapped up in this new moment of wanting to share my poem tunes with people.
Heck, I could even play in public if I won I'm pretty sure.
Let's not get ahead of ourselves ;)
Thanks for everything, friends.
So, here we go. Sharing here as well, I give you:
Mallory Kate's Star Wars Love Song
I figured it was time to start explaining these tarot cards somewhere. Why not do it publicly cuz who fucking reads this shit and who cares. Yeah, me. Maybe just me. But me.
FYI: Read First
Mae Mae The High Priestess:
Major Arcana: Trump II
Melisa Gabrielson is an amazing woman, talented artist, phenomenal mother, and dear friend. She's one of the most up-beat, upstanding, tell it like it is, beautiful females I've had the pleasure of meeting. She works hard, is down for anything, and loyal as the Nevadan sky is vast. She is layered, complex, open, and fascinating. She fits in no box, constantly impresses with her strength, and has been a delight (and struggle) to attempt to capture in paint. In short, Mae has seen some shit, been through some shit, and can smell bullshit coming from a mile away. She also don't take no shit.
Women like her are the bass to the pulse of Reno's heart beat.
That's part of why I chose her as one of my High Priestess.
Here we see Mae, all face, all hair, all eyes, all freckles. On her head she wears the triple Reno papal crown of arches (I dunno if y'all know, but Reno likes arches and roundness and spheres). Her hair (or is it her elaborate headdress of magnificence?) flows like the weightless topper of a showgirl. Perhaps harkening the essence of the PrimaDonna. Wrapped in her hair is the Kabbalist Tree of Life symbol. She wears a frock of modest blue and in an amazing 80s fabric because Mae Mae. Blue echos the color of water, intelligence, emotion. She is street smart. The arches act as the head-dress and the gate of the Priestess and, in essence, the gates of Humanity/Choice/Time/Knowledge/Self. Through or around? Into or away? She stands before the gate and is the gate itself, welcoming but fierce. Just like Reno. Her collar is the same as a Catholic priest's because I went to Catholic school for 12 years and have a few thoughts about that white piece of fabric myself... anyway, her collar also has the symbol of a traditional lock and key lock. This makes her the Gatekeeper, seeing both the past and the future. She is wisdom. She is opportunity or success, she is the first of many lady (or gentlemen) lucks you will meet in my deck. Her skin has the freckle and glow of neon light. Her eyes are clear, wide, and penetrating.
She is most strong upright and when dealt her inversed, you'll know why.
I've been working on this painting for three years.
Link to proof.
She's had many incarnations, many renditions, and I'm finally comfortable hanging her in public at Gallery Boom.
Te Presento A:
I woke up today after a night of unrest. My current working situation has forcibly made me take pause, take a step back. The intense cleaning I'm doing in an attempt to reach Zen is affecting a nerve somehow connecting my neck to my very fingertip my right side. When I'm sleeping it goes numb. Not that simple type of numb, the kind of numb that sneaks up on you while you're sleeping and jolts you awake into extreme pain and you try to adjust your arm or your hand or your body so that maybe some of the pain goes away, but it doesn't. Sticks around for hours. It takes a bath with you. And it's getting worse every night you sleep brought on by every day's work in this particular industry doing this particular job that you thought was so perfect.
It's the kind of pain that wakes something up and you inside. It's the kind of pain that you have to listen to. It's the kind of pain that if I keep injuring, I will not be able to paint. It's in perfect I haven't been able to paint all day. And it's my day off. I've cried three times today and two of which were spent trying not to cry. And if you know me, you know I never cry.
I know I haven't written anything in three days... I know no one out there knows that I haven't written anything in three days. I know I haven't stayed true to my year goal of posting something every day in an effort to be creative.
I hope this invisible readership will forgive me.
I give this. This picture of my blank desk, unkept, wild, and blank where it counts.
And I give this:
Because, dammit, I'm going to paint.
where i'll post the in's, out's, tween's, and twixt's of my world of art mixed with pictures, links, opinions, and rants. (oh, and curse words. lots of curse words)