stremmel
nevada museum of art
sierra arts 
riverside art gallery--donner pass, truckee
420 valley arts complex
sheppard gallery
casino ballroom etc


what kind of pepole are going?
what's the average age group? as much as i enjoy people of any age, im' not even 30. will i feel out of place?
as a tarot novice, will i feel out of place?
hoping to making art connections. 
creative tools to bring
clothes to bring and wear in italy
what would you recommend for xtra funds? 


i hope somewhere along the way i've inspired you. paved some way. laid some bricks. 



i don't want to save you
save me
i just want to love you
imperfectly

tired of feeling so fragile
these bones break before they bleed
but i'm ready for a battle
whole heartedly

i accept the fact that i am
a hard woman to understand
gimme all your inbetweens
and i'll hold them as safe as i can

come on over and hold me close
tell me the secrets no one knows
we're gonna wash our hands clean 
hopefully

you and i are one in the same
broke down guy, screwed up dame
we're gonna burn like gasoline
stand by me


so what makes you look twice at me now
you cock your head left and decide i'm alright
am i in season or just a convenience 
i'm not your flavor but hell i looke ripe
dont' dont you fuck with me
your words are tired and empty 

you send me random texts at night 
no courage to call just enough to type
save your breath your rotten sighs
doesn't matter what i answer just need a reply

dont dont you fuck....

your despertion is pitiful
looking for echos grasping at straws
so take me out of your aresenal 
of girls you keep at your beckon call


sometimes i feel like a bird
only sing songs unfree uncaptured
never quite the same own tamed and kept
never quite what you came, what you came to expect



not to say your love is a cage 
pedastal you set me on you set me on a stage
each dawn that comes along, i hum a song inside
deep within my chest, lungs bones and flesh collide



(split am chord thing, asus2? To…)
 
 
Covet me carefully, gently in your hands
intently, baited breath, you wait for me to dance
The attention you pour on me, you pour on me is intense
keep me in your palm 
this tiny song I acquiesce
 

18882097852---

TUESDAY 9AM, DENTIST APPT

 

i like to think i haven't changed, but then again i may have

not to say your love is a cage.
these days people don't even make eye contact, they just walk past
carry on with their day, moving through motions 
don't even stop to say hi to their old friend. the me. 
you know what you are to me? 
that one guy i almost lost my virginity to. the one i egged with. one i danced. 

oh my god, 
remember that memory? 
cuz i do
still feels pretty fresh for me.

where is my mind by maxence cyrin

maybe telling you we're unbreakable was in fact the kiss of death
that i'd never break up with you no matter how much worse it gets
that pledging blindly to your side so freely was in fact a bad move
that you'd in turn take me for granted, nothing to gain, nothing to lose. 

Please remember me, happily/By the rosebush laughing/With bruises on my chin, the time when/We counted every black car passing

Your house beneath the hill and up until/Someone caught us in the kitchen/With maps, a mountain range, a piggy bank/A vision too removed to mention

But please remember me, fondly/I heard from someone you're still pretty/And then they went on to say that the Pearly Gates/Had some eloquent graffiti

Like 'We'll meet again' and 'Fuck the man'/And 'Tell my mother not to worry'/And angels with their great handshakes/But always done in such a hurry

And please remember me, at Halloween/Making fools of all the neighbors/Our faces painted white , by midnight/We'd forgotten one another

And when the morning came I was ashamed/Only now it seems so silly/That season left the world and then returned/And now you're lit up by the city

So please remember me, mistakenly/In the window of the tallest tower/Call, then pass us by but much too high/To see the empty road at happy hour

Gleam and resonate just like the gates/Around the Holy Kingdom/With words like, 'Lost and found' and 'Don't look down'/And 'Someone save temptation'

And please remember me as in the dream/We had as rug burned babies/Among the fallen trees and fast asleep/Beside the lions and the ladies

That called you what you like and even might/Give a gift for your behavior/A fleeting chance to see a trapeze/Swinger high as any savior

But please remember me, my misery/And how it lost me all I wanted/Those dogs that love the rain and chasing trains/The colored birds above there running

In circles round the well and where it spells/On the wall behind St. Peter/So bright on cinder gray in spray paint/'Who the hell can see forever?'

And please remember me, seldomly/In the car behind the carnival/My hand between your knees, you turn from me/And said the trapeze act was wonderful

But never meant to last, the clowns that passed/Saw me just come up with anger/When it filled with circus dogs, the parking lot/Had an element of danger

So please remember me, finally/And all my uphill clawing/My dear, but if I make the Pearly Gates/I'll do my best to make a drawing

Of God and Lucifer, a boy and girl
An angel kissin' on a sinner
A monkey and a man, a marching band
All around the frightened trapeze swinger

Nah nah nah
Nah nah nah
Nah nah nah





it's seems you trade one for another, depending on the company
whatever suits you, fucking, forget me. 
i'd call you worser names if i could find the right ones
but for now you're just the jerk that stepped over my feelings
the girl with none. 







it's been a year now and lately i've been thinkin...
still sitting here, same old me, 
smoking and drinkin.

because it's not to say that your life didn't heavily affect me
it's jsut breaks my heart to think about how your death has. 

and i wonder if there's anything i could do differently
if there's anything i can do to make you still proud of me
make you right here with me
make you here.